One of the most horrible situations I can imagine is this: I find that I have done something that caused great harm to someone. I realise my guilt and approach the person to ask for forgiveness – but he or she will not forgive me. I stand there with insight into my sin, with remorse and self-condemnation but I am still chained to my burden of guilt. Only the victim has the power to set me free by saying ‘I forgive you’.
It is a nightmare scenario. This is what happened to Judas. Matthew writes (27:3) that when Judas saw that Jesus was condemned, he felt remorse and wanted to give back the thirty pieces of silver. It was not Judas’ initial intention that Jesus should get a death sentence. However, by then, he could not turn the tide of how events developed. He couldn’t even find the opportunity to approach Jesus and ask for forgiveness – like Peter did.
In his despair, Judas took his own life. That is so tragic. It is a sharp illustration of the despair that comes over people when they believe that forgiveness is not available.
I believe that we should see Jesus’ teaching on prayer for forgiveness in the light of how destructive it is to perceive God as a strict judge. His contemporary role models for righteousness were not always helpful. Few ordinary people could identify with the seemingly perfect behaviour of the religious elite who wanted to be seen and admired for their godliness.
If we approach God thinking that he will compare us with others and judge our shortcomings, we will tend to stay away from him rather than have the burden of his disapproval added to our souls.
Jesus does not free us from the importance of confessing our sins. However, he spent a lot of time telling people that when they approach Holy God in prayer, they can do it in the confidence that he will listen in a loving way.
He says that we can address God as daddy and that his Father will be even more willing than a human parent to give good gifts when we come to him and ask. His stories clearly portray God as an open-arms-father who will forgive rude behaviour if we come to our senses, confess and turn back to him.
To regularly ask God for forgiveness in my prayers is a way of keeping my spirit healthy. Forgiveness is like a muscle that needs to be exercised both up and down. As I have reached up to God and received forgiveness, I shall myself reach out to others and forgive them.
My ability to be reconciled with experiences or with people will deteriorate unless I keep up that muscle of forgiveness.
The world has become an increasingly judgemental place. It is almost the new norm to shame and blame people over social media. Jesus calls us to live differently. Not to forgive anyone is like holding them hostage to the acts of the past: a situation that likely will lead them to aggressive behaviour.
Thank God, that he has opened the door to freedom in Jesus, the freedom of being forgiven and forgiving others.
This text has been published in Die Heilsarmee Magazin #11/2018.